email vs blog

i want to write something for my blog that isn't just a book review, but i also have many emails to respond to, from friends. i enjoy writing and receiving long emails, but i also, for whatever reason, get paralyzed by the task of responding to a long email. i have been thinking a little bit about what i choose to say in emails vs what i choose to say in a blog post. i think direct communication with someone where you have context, historical precedent, and some amount of mutual vulnerability is freeing in a way that a blog can't be.in an email to a writer, i mentioned writing lots of emails to other writers, and then later included random excerpts from those emails, which was funny to me, sending things i wrote to other people to someone else.

for this blog post i've decided to just list some non-sequitur-seeming lines from emails i've written to other authors. in compiling this, it sort of reads like a bunch of tweets, which seems interesting

excerpts of emails i've sent to other writers

i like the idea of peeing as a defense mechanism, and how effective it's been. it's like it's his niche combat move to compensate for being slow and fat, like a pokemon or something.

i've read some random good things by various people. 

there's a great little scene where the characters are watching some video footage of a riot and a guy beats this other guy's ass, knocks him out cold, then pulls down the dude's pants and psray paints his cock and balls, and the characters watching are like "what the fuck," talking about it, and the one guy is like "yeah no spraying the guy's cock was retarded."

feel like i felt that way and said something to that effect to you a long time ago but now i feel differently. 

the most depressed i ever felt, maybe, was when i was applying for jobs to get out of grad school, but part of that was also knowingly applying for jobs i knew i was unqualified for, in academia, which i'd only get if i could also finish my dissertation, which i knew i couldn't do. 

bruiser is dope (heh)

i go back and forth. i try to send some stuff out throughout the year to stay 'engaged' and like i'm 'contributing' or something. always bummed me out when my favorite authors stopped sending shit to indie mags so i wanna keep doing that to spite them

you gotta trust toddlers

i have some vague conviction that how gen z uses social media will change things in the next few years - there's that push to decentralize/publicize social media but gen z is doing it via public and private networks/accounts. and people are being sick of being sold to, of everything being monetized, of everything they say being potential fodder for retribution in 1-10 years

feeling embarassed about you 'already knowing' birds have 2000+ feathers

i've only seen one person directly/indirectly shittalk me/the book

i've been waking up every day at 5:45 to do chicken chores for months now and do i breathe in the bright morning air, look at trees, smile and think of god in the details? no, i just blearily carry out my duties and then try to go back to bed as soon as possible. it's stupid, and i feel stupid for thinking it'd be different.

every time i think of the author, eugene marten, i think of the comedian, eugene merman, who did this stupid and weird internet show in like 2008

i remember listening to george saunders on otherppl and him saying something like "what you want to write might not be what people like - you should find what people like and write that" and it left a bad taste in my mouth. i don't think i care about what people like in a broad sense, and am more interested in what interests me or feels innovative or interesting based on my experience or perception of writing.

i get uncomfortable meeting people or talking to strangers